Idleness: Spiritual Lessons Learned about Running

Idleness-

1. useless; futile 2. unfounded 3. inactive;not in use 4. lazy 5. to move slowly or aimlessly 6. to operate without transmitting power 7. to waste

Well, I promised that I would have more explanation about running and the Fifth's Disease and what I have learned through it all. Here it goes: God has convicted me, as of late, of much idleness in my life. I didn't know that was what it was but I knew that God was doing a number on me. He has been for quite some time. Sunday afternoon was the bottom for me. I had not gone to church because Alora was spotted from head to toe and so I had plenty of time to just think. As I was getting to the point of utter despair, I got a phone call. A friend of mine was calling to ask for some accountability in an area of her life. She said, "God is convicting me that I am very idle in this area and I wondered if you would hold me accountable." As soon as the word "idle" was uttered it all came together. The area she was asking for accountability in is about the only area that I didn't feel idle! I am so thankful for the phone call, because we then began to share what God had been convicting us of and encouraging each other. Isn't the body of Christ beautiful?

When I am idle I look for things that will make me feel productive: making plans, looking for pasttimes and hobbies, making plans, cleaning house, making more plans and running. At different times I have turned to each of the things above and other things to cure me of my idleness, only those things don't cure. I desire to run to feel productive, to feel like I am doing something good, something right.

God knows what is best for me and it is Himself. I am certain He would not let me run because when I turn to anything but Him to find satisfaction, it is not what is best for me nor will I ever truly be satisfied. There are no substitutes for God! Once I realized this, it was as if a huge boulder had been lifted off my shoulders and then dropped on my head! I was miserable! How can I love my God so much and then constantly look for something in which to replace Him? I repented immediately and decided it was okay if I couldn't physically run, I was to run to Him. He was calling me to return to my first love--Jesus, and run to His Word. I have begun getting up earlier and beginning the day in His Word. It has changed my life dramatically already. If I wait until the afternoon or evening, I can never guarantee that I will get that time with Him so it must be morning for me.

The crazy thing is that the very next day we discovered that Alora had Fifth's Disease and probably got it from me. What is wrong with me is not incurable, and I will be able to run. Slowly but surely. I will never blast out of the chutes again like I did, but I can run. I have experienced minimal pain since I started running again. Its funny how, after learning the current lesson on idleness, I am lovingly released to run again. God is so good and His Word is so sweet. I am thankful for a gracious and merciful God who disciplines those He loves and then lovingly releases them to resume the race.